Euro Trash

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LA BONZESSE (74) aka Beatrix la Schiava del Sesso. Weird ass French flick about a free spirited young gal’s adventures in a freaky whorehouse. LOTS of nudity, light bondage, midget sex, a guy who can only get it on while dressed as an alligator(!), and, from somewhere waaaay out in left field, a dude who sews a button to his own nipple! Yikes! French language. Order  

LADY GODIVA RIDES AGAIN (69) aka Lady Godiva Rides; Lady Godiva Meets Tom Jones. Blonde bombshell Marsha Jordan whips 'em out in this low budget (but classy!) exploiter about Lady G. teaming up with Tom Jones and sailing to America to take on the Wild West and everyone in it. It's a honey of an oater awash in a plethora of pulsating pulchritude! Order

LADY EMANUELLE (91) Softcore Italo erotica directed by Pasqualle Fanetti and starring "Malu" as Lady Emanuelle, a poor dear who somehow seems to get attacked by every man she meets. Tiring of her role as human pincushion she seeks solace in the arms (and thighs) of her lesbian best friend. Abundant girl-on-girl action ensues before Lady E "turns the other cheek" and decides to give hetero another try. Italian language. Order

LADY OF THE NIGHT (85) aka La Signora della Notte. Pneumatic gift from God Serena Grandi stars in this... Oh who the hell cares about the "plot" anyway? It’s got SERENA GRANDI in it! She spends a LOT of time with her clothes off, when she’s not naked she’s doing aerobics, and she gets molested with a shotgun barrel. That should be more than enough information to allow you to make an informed buying decision. Order

THE LANGUAGE OF ERIKA (82) aka La Lingua di Erika. Seasoned sleaze vet Giuliana Gamba (The Belt; Bizarre) hides behind his "John Costa" alias for this steamy hardcore outing starring the well packed Sabrina Mastrorenzi. Sabrina plays a voracious nympho teener whose favorite pastime is riding the pink pony. The girl’s open minded though, occasionally dressing up like a Nazi and giving her gal pal Sapphic satisfaction Third Reich style. Lots of sausage grinding, lesbo lust and nympho orgies here, my friend. Letterboxed Italian language print. X-rated. Order

LA PAPESSE (74) Wild Satanic hippy horror flick from France was considered so shocking it was immediately banned upon release. Packed with bloodletting, flagellation and druggie weirdness galore! Directed by Mario Mercier. French language. Order

LA PURITANA (89) After both her brother and mother are violated and killed by dope crazed savages a determined young woman vows revenge using the only weapons she has: her 36D’s and brick shithouse figure! Starring the gorgeous Margi Newton (who spends a LOT of time with her clothes off) and directed by Nini Grassia. Italian language. Order

LA SEDUZIONE (??) More rare Italo trash this time directed by Fernando Di Leo. Swanky Neopolitan dude puts the moves on a middle aged matron and bags a twofer when her Lolita like daughter makes a play for him. Wait, make that a triple header as the youngster's best friend slides in and decides to see what all the fuss is about! Those of a dramatic persuasion will no doubt appreciate all the operatic pathos and soul searching, while the rest of us can content ourselves with cheap smutty thrills and tender teen flesh! Letterboxed English subtitled print. Order

THE LAST MATCH (90) aka Opponent; L' Ultima Partita. Order

LATIDOS DE PANICO Spanish language Order

LA TRAQUE (75) Rare sex'n'sleaze number from Serge LeRoy stars Mimsy Farmer as an unlucky young Englishwoman who crosses paths with an especially bloodthirsty hunting party. When two of the hunters try to assault her she manages to shoot one of them and escape only to have the rest of the party track her down like the fuzzy little cottontail she is! Co-stars Jean-Pierre Marielle, Jean-Luc Bideau, Michel Constantin and Michel Lonsdale. French language print from broadcast. Order

LA TRASGRESSIONE (87) More sicko trash from Rome! Evil junkie withholds meds from his wheelchair-bound mom and amuses himself by poking a baby with pins while she's in the emergency room. Later he meets his soulmate, an equally evil and often disrobed wench and the two of them go on a sexcrime killing spree! They gleefully roast a couple alive in a beach house, strangle an aging swinger with her douche bag, and cut off a guy's wee wee! Each murder is preceded by a scene of two whitefaced clowns twirling umbrellas! Guess that makes it a comedy! Letterboxed Italian language print. Order

LAURA (76) aka Confessions of a Frustrated Housewife; My Father’s Wife; La Moglie di mio Padre. Sleazy soap opera from Andrea Bianchi stars bitchy Carroll Baker (who has LOTS of nude scenes) as Laura, and Adolfi Celi as Antonio, a middle-aged couple who have a problem with their sex life: Antonio can’t keep it up for more than a few seconds at a time. Devoted wife that she is, Laura tries to do the right thing by hiring a prostitute to teach her to give head. But even that doesn’t work so Antonio sees a doctor who encourages him to screw younger women to boost his confidence! Eventually the frustrated and jealous Laura winds up in bed with Antonio’s son from another marriage but this is more than her husband’s Latin ego can take... Letterboxed. Order

LE DIABOLIQUE DR. FLACK (8?) aka Dramaticon. You’ve never heard of him, but director J.J. Rousseau is Belgium’s answer to both Ed Wood Jr. AND Andy Milligan. He makes some of the weirdest, stoopidest movies we’ve ever seen which is some kind of an accomplishment in itself. This one has something to do with a mad scientist performing transplant experiments on transients in his basement while a fat strangler on a motorbike smashes a baby in a stroller. Meanwhile, American G.I.s abuse SS babes, while another G.I. is distracted by a wily Gestapo officer who steals his turd! Oh yeah, there’s also a butt ugly transvestite, a couple of disco divas and some cheap gore too. No subtitles, but we doubt if they’d help much. If you’re really adventurous get this AND L’ Histoire du Cinema 16. Go ahead, we DARE you! Order

LE GRAND CEREMONIAL (68) aka The Weird Weirdo. Incredibly obscure weirdness scripted by Fernando Arrabel the madman responsible for I Will Go Like a Crazy Horse and Viva La Muerte! Filled with strange scenes and bizarre imagery. Also notable for having the best use of mannequins since Tourist Trap. French language. Order

LENINGRAD COWBOYS MEET MOSES (93) Extraordinarily obscure followup to Aki Kaurismki’s hit(?) film Leningrad Cowboys Go America finds the world’s worst rock’n’roll group stranded in Mexico with most of its members either dead or hopeless alcoholics. Arriving to save the day is the band’s shifty manager who’s had a religious awakening and now believes himself to be none other than Moses himself. He leads the boys on a wacky transcontinental trek back to Siberia, stopping off in New York to steal the nose of the Statue of Liberty... For maximum enjoyment of this one it would be helpful to be either dead drunk or Finnish because, as one pundit put it, "It is understandable that people don’t like comedy that’s not funny at all." Letterboxed English language print. Order

LES COUSINES (69) aka Love Demons; From Ear to Ear; The French Cousins. Complete UNCUT version of this bizarre French shocker that was radically altered for American release by schlockmeister Jerry Gross. Two wicked bisexual schoolgirls relentlessly torment their terrified mute cousin by forcing her to witness their debauchery and drug use as well as scaring her senseless with the mummified remains of a dead baby. Nasty and disturbing. Directed by Louis Soulanes, starring Solange Pradel, Nicole DeBonne, Daniele Argence and Robert Lombard. Italian language print with Danish subtitles. Order

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